Statue of the Messiah to Be Unveiled

A statue of the Second Son of God is set to be unveiled in the rotunda of the nation's Capital building on Tuesday to mark the end of the first historic week of Barack Hussein Obama's earthly reign as deity. His Obamaness personally commissioned the artwork in 2001 when he prophesied that he would ascend the royal throne in Washington without completing his first term in the Senate. Sources close to his royal highness say that Obama first envisioned during one of his cocaine snorting sprees in college. "I was really snorting up the coke this one time," the Second Son revealed in Dreams From My Father, "suddenly I started having this auditory hallucination. Only I know it couldn't have been a hallucination because it was God talking to me. And I know his voice when I hear it. He sounds a lot like James Earl Jones in Star Wars, only without the heavy breathing. And he says to me 'Luke', which is a nickname God has for me. And I said, 'Yes Dad?' And he says, 'Luke, I'm your father.' And I said, 'I know Dad, what's up?' And he says, 'Have a statue made of yourself revealing your true nature.' And I said to him, 'You mean as World Champion of Frogger?' And Dad replied, 'No you idiot! You are the Savior of the World. Through you the imprisoned will go free, the dead will be raised at luncheons and women around the world will get free abortions paid for by the American tax payer.' And I took another snort and said, 'Cool!' And then Dad said, 'Have it made out of paper mache to say something about your strength. Have it stand three and three quarter cubits tall.' And I interupted and said, 'Dude, that's way too many details right now.' And that is all I remember."

The statue of the Second Son will be on display starting January 27, 2009 until Obama gets another epiphany concerning his deity.