It didn't take any time at all for the second son of God to begin performing miracles. Barry Obama had barely taken the throne when his true deity began to shine. First he blessed the vast numbers of religious faithful who attended his ascendancy to the highest position in the known universe. Federal officials were estimating two to three million people were planning to attending. Officials from the Million Man March say the number was much closer to two billion.
The festivities did not go on without a few protests. One protester was captured on camera demonstrating that he felt Obama had no place in government.
The festivities did not go on without a few protests. One protester was captured on camera demonstrating that he felt Obama had no place in government.
While close followers of the second son of God have long awaited his first official miracle they were surprised to find what that miracle turned out to be. Many had speculated that Barrack would demonstrate his deity by walking across the Potomac. Earlier thoughts had him doing this same miracle on a smaller scale by walking across the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial. After Steve Carrell accomplished the reflecting pool walk in last summer's movie Get Smart, religious pundits figured Obama would have to kick the old walk on water routine up a few notches.
The debate rages at this moment over the true first miracle performed on inauguration day. Some say it is the lavish luncheon served to dignitaries. Rumor has it that the seafood stew, duck, pheasant, sweet potatoes, winter vegetables and cinnamon apple sponge cake all started off as a can of Starkist Tuna, a loaf of Wonder Bread and a half used jar of Miracle Whip. Washington insiders say that Obama himself appeared in the early morning hours of inauguration day and blended those items together to form the lavish meal served that day. Apparantly there were so many left overs from the meal someone proposed feeding it to the five thousand homeless people forced to leave Washington DC while Hollywood elite were in town. In the end Michael Moore just took the extra food home in a very, very large doggie bag.
The rival for first official inaugural day miracle also revolved around the famed luncheon. When Senator Byrd and Senator Kennedy simulataneously died during the soup course pandemonium occured. Kennedy fell face first into his bowl of seafood stew. Someone yelled out, "Swim Teddy, swim! We thought you could swim!" Obama stood up and calmly walked over to the two dead Senators and pronounced, "Senators, Arise!" A doctor in attendance quickly pronounced the two fallen senators to be alive and somewhat well. In a later statement the doctor also said that Kennedy in particular looked very well preserved. Of course he also said with the amount of alcohol in his system Kennedy would likely never need to be enbalmed.
So dear readers you can decide which miracle was truly first on inauguration day. Until next time...
The debate rages at this moment over the true first miracle performed on inauguration day. Some say it is the lavish luncheon served to dignitaries. Rumor has it that the seafood stew, duck, pheasant, sweet potatoes, winter vegetables and cinnamon apple sponge cake all started off as a can of Starkist Tuna, a loaf of Wonder Bread and a half used jar of Miracle Whip. Washington insiders say that Obama himself appeared in the early morning hours of inauguration day and blended those items together to form the lavish meal served that day. Apparantly there were so many left overs from the meal someone proposed feeding it to the five thousand homeless people forced to leave Washington DC while Hollywood elite were in town. In the end Michael Moore just took the extra food home in a very, very large doggie bag.
The rival for first official inaugural day miracle also revolved around the famed luncheon. When Senator Byrd and Senator Kennedy simulataneously died during the soup course pandemonium occured. Kennedy fell face first into his bowl of seafood stew. Someone yelled out, "Swim Teddy, swim! We thought you could swim!" Obama stood up and calmly walked over to the two dead Senators and pronounced, "Senators, Arise!" A doctor in attendance quickly pronounced the two fallen senators to be alive and somewhat well. In a later statement the doctor also said that Kennedy in particular looked very well preserved. Of course he also said with the amount of alcohol in his system Kennedy would likely never need to be enbalmed.
So dear readers you can decide which miracle was truly first on inauguration day. Until next time...
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